In Loving Memory

Miss Mika Bobika 2007-2018

*There will still be stories of Mika's exploits but it may take me a while to get back to them.*

Separation Anxiety for the Duration of a Shower

"Ilana, Ilana, let me in I beg."

"Not by the hair on my very own legs!"

"Then I'll bark and I'll scratch,

and I'll knock your door off it pegs."

For Whom the Bell Tolls in Mika’s Yard

“Beware, beware,” the raven caws.

“Those who enter may lose paws.”

Bones will shatter,

Innards scatter.

The death toll climbs,

One critter at a time.

Three mice,

One squirrel,

Two birds,

Three skunks,

One opossum.

Cleaning up the aftermath is anything but awesome.

Water Snake Showdown

I crouch behind a flower pot and peek out at the water snake. It’s been sleeping all winter, but I know it will wake up and attack at any moment.

Every year, just when the air begins to bring the fresh scent of new growth and the birds start to sing, Ilana comes home with new plants. I can smell tomatoes, cucumbers, broccoli, pumpkin, basil, and a few others I don’t recognize. She takes the new vegetable plants into the garden and digs. I don’t understand why she won’t let me help her. I am an expert digger. But I’m never allowed past the garden gate. I’m left out in the yard with oblivious Scottie, on the wrong side of the chicken wire. The same side as the snake. So I spend a lot of time watching it. And waiting.

After the veggies are planted, Ilana goes into the garage. She leans down to turn a knob that’s touching the tail of the snake.

“Stop!” I bark. “You’ll wake it up!” I rush in after her, but it’s too late. I can hear the water rushing through the snake’s body. It’s awake. I run back outside and see the head of the snake starting to dance. It makes little jumps off the ground and bumps back onto the cement.

“Oh no you don’t!” I bark. Spotting Scottie in the corner of the yard I call, “Quick! Come help me stop the snake before it attacks Ilana!”

Scottie ignores me and runs to the opposite corner of the yard. He pretends to sniff a bush and mark it.

“Lazy bones,” I mutter. “I know you’re just a fraidy cat!” I say loud enough that I know he heard me, even with his tiny cropped ears. He continues to ignore me. “It’s a good thing Ilana has me then. You’re useless.”

I turn back to the snake and see Ilana about to grab it by the head. She must have walked out of the garage while I was distracted.

“No! Stay away,” I cry, but she only hears “Bark! Roof Roof.” I run at her and try to put myself in between her and the snake.

“Mika! Quit it. Go away.” Ilana’s brow furrows in annoyance. I see that expression a lot. I have no idea why she gets so frustrated with me. All I ever do is protect her from herself.

Ilana pushes me out of the way. I lunge back at the snake’s head but I’m too late. Ilana’s already picked it up. Any second it’s going to start spitting water venom.

Ilana wrestles with it for a moment. She gets it facing the newly planted vegetables just in time. The snake spits its water venom out all over the plants instead of her.

The snake is strong. It sways back and forth the whole length of the garden, spitting venom and pulling Ilana with it. I have to do something fast!

I gather my legs under me, muscles tense, and leap at the snake’s head. The snake dances away from me. “Roof, woo woo!” I yell, but my words are garbled by the water venom shooting into my mouth. I back away, coughing and spitting. Shaking my head to clear it, I bark at the snake, “Leave Ilana’s plants alone!” I take another leap at the snake.

Ilana blocks me with her body. “Mika, I said QUIT.” She shoves me back with her leg.

I rush in again. Water venom fills my mouth as my teeth close around the plastic snake head. I ignore the water rushing down my throat and try to shake the snake to kill it. Ilana fights me. Why are you doing this? I want to ask. We’re on the same side. But if I want to speak, I’ll have to let go of the snake. Ilana wouldn’t understand me anyway. I love her, but sometimes she can be so bull headed…or is that thick headed? I can never remember, I’m a bull with a thick head…

“Mika, stop it. Let go.” Ilana pulls the snake higher so my feet are lifted off the ground. I stay attached. Ilana sighs and drops the snake.

Finally!

She walks into the garage.

I stand over the snake, ready to deliver a final blow. “Grrrrrrrr.”

The sounds of water rushing through its body fade. A last trickle of venom escapes and the snake lays lifeless in front of me. “You better be scared.” I tell it.

Ilana comes out of the garage.

I prance over to her, tail high. “See what I did? I scared it to sleep for you. No need to thank me.” She hears, “Woo woo woo.”

She smiles down at me. “Well, that wasn’t terrible. I guess you’re improving. You didn’t jump into the garden this time.” She pats my head.

I nudge in closer and dart my tongue out toward her exposed leg. SLURP!

“Ewwwww! Mika! You didn’t do that well.” But she’s laughing.

I wag my tail. Another day, another rescue. My job never ends. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Mika the Red Nosed Pit Bull

Mika, the red-nosed pit bull
had a very shiny nose
and if you ever saw it
you would even say it glows.

All of the other pit bulls
used to laugh and call her names.

They never let poor Mika
play in any pit bull games.

Then one foggy Hanukkah eve
Rabbi came to say:
"Mika with your nose so bright,
won't you light my candles tonight?"

Then all the pit bulls loved her
as they shouted out with glee,
Mika the red-nosed pit bull,
you'll go down in history!

*Lyrics changed from the original “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” that was written by Johnny Marks.

When a Dog Sees a Doe

Majestic and grand

In the twilight she stands

Such a creature as I’ve never seen.

She stops and she stares

Blinks brown eyes and flicks ears

Such a silence there never has been.

Then she turns and she glides

And the grass gives a sigh

And the forest has taken her in.

Suitcase Snafu: From the Memoirs of a Guinea Pig.

I can’t see. Something pushes into me from all sides. I fight the rising panic and wait for my eyes to adjust to the dark. As my vision adjusts, I can make out heads and faces. Blank eyes stare at me wherever I look. I push into one with my whole body. It gives way with a rustling of pellets. I shove my body the other way into a dog like creature and it does the same thing. In front of me stands a rhino shape. I take a gulp of stale air and forge ahead. My face collides with a soft horn and a forgiving face.

Taking another breath, I start to calm down. Think. What’s the last thing you remember? The stuffed creatures stare back at me as I piece together what’s going on. I take a step back and my foot hits something prickly. I study it and realize it’s Ilana’s hair brush. In a rush, memories come back to me.

Ilana, Ellie, and Stephanie were packing Ilana’s back pack for her sleepover at Stephanie’s. They put her pajamas, change of clothes, tooth brush, and hair brush in the bag. Then they dumped some beanie babies in. Ilana turned around and saw me watching her from my cage. I chewed on the bars so she’d take me out.

“Abby!” Ilana cried, “Do you want to be packed too?” She opened the cage and scooped me out. She snuggled and kissed me and then put me in the sack with the stuffed animals. Stephanie zipped the sack. All the girls were laughing. I heard the muffled voice of Mom call the girls down for dinner. There was a rush of noise and then all was silent. I thought about squeaking, but decided to wait since no one would hear me and took a nap instead.

Ilana’s muffled voice gets louder as she nears the backpack. “Let me just grab my stuff!” she calls. I’m about to give her a reminder squeak so she’ll put me back, when my footing slips out from under me. The squeak dies in my throat as Ilana lifts the bag and I tumble around inside. I’m glad the beanie babies are there for cushioning.

I feel Ilana swing the sack onto her shoulder and then bounce down the stairs. I’m hit with a wave of cold as she leaves the house, saying bye to her parents and Ellie. The temperature shifts again as I’m swung, in the bag, up into a car and land with a thud on what must be a seat. I can hear the girls chatter as they climb in next to me and Stephanie’s mom asking them to please buckle in.

I push the dog stuffed animal off me and try again to squeak a warning to Ilana but my voice is drowned by the radio and I sit back as the car rumbles to life and I am pulled farther and farther away from my nice, cozy cage. If only Ilana knew I was here…

“Mom, is Mike getting the movie we asked for?” I hear Stephanie say.

“Yep,” her mom says. “He should be home before us though. We have to stop and take care of Ashley’s cats first. Remember?”

“Oh yeah.”

“Ilana, you don’t mind stopping do you?” Stephanie’s mom asks.

“Nope,” Ilana says.

My heart sinks. Cats! She’s ok with cats! What’s going on? Ilana can’t like cats. Cats eat little guys like me. I freeze. I’m remembering something. The fur on my back raises and my whiskers stand out. Stephanie has cats. I’m going to be brought into a house that has cats. And if they find me before Ilana does—.

Nope. I shake my head. That’s just not going to happen. I have to find a way to get out of this back pack or be heard by Ilana. And that’s that!

The car comes to a stop and the temperature shifts again as the engine turns off. The girls bump my bag as they scramble out of the car and head to where I assume Ashley’s cats are. I huddle with the beanie babies and fluff myself up as much as I can. I wish I had a tail to drape across my cold nose.

When I’m pretty sure that in one more minute I would have frozen, I hear the beep of the car unlocking and the chatter of Ilana and Stephanie as they clamber into their seats. Come on, come on, I think. Turn the heat on! Finally the car is on and the heat vents roar to life. I can feel them through the fabric of the backpack. I spend the rest of the drive to Stephanie’s house warming up and thinking about how to escape the sack.

When the car stops this time, I’m flung upside down as Ilana grabs her bag and carries it into Stephanie’s house. My heart is pounding so loud that I’m sure the cats will hear it if they don’t smell me first. Ilana tosses the bag on what I guess is Stephanie’s bed and then there’s silence. They must be watching the movie.

I right myself and my eye catches the zipper line of the backpack. I wade through stuffed animals and clothes to the wall of the bag and nibble on the zipper seam. Testing for weaknesses, I follow the seam along the edge until I find a frayed thread. Getting a good grip of the thread in my teeth, I pull. Nothing happens. I adjust my grip and pull again. A slight budge! I pull until the thread comes out. Now there is enough of a gap for me to start chewing through the seam.

I’m in the middle of chewing when I hear a rustle and then feel the ground beneath me shake slightly. I sniff through the tiny hole I’ve made. The smell of fish and milk and something I can’t place hits my nose. Cat! Panic fills my body. I need to run or yell for Ilana, but I can’t move my legs and my voice has escaped me. The roof of the backpack is suddenly pushed in, inches from where I stand. A heart shaped nose fills my tiny peep hole. I seem to be pulled along with the strong sniff it takes.

“Humm, not mouse,” The owner of the nose hisses. “Not rat.”

The backpack ceiling is pushed in again, narrowly missing me. “What rodents do humans keep as pets?” another cat voice hisses.

That breaks my fear. “I’m not a rodent!” I shout through the bag. Immediately I regret my outburst as my roof is pounded again. This time a claw makes it through the fabric. I shrink into a ball.

“Whatever it is, it smells tasty.” one of them says.

I close my eyes, waiting for the next blow. But it never comes. Ilana’s voice drifts to my ears as she walks into the room. Now that I have a hole, I can clearly hear what she’s saying. “You lost him? How could you. You’re so dumb. You better find him or else!”

“What happened?” I hear Stephanie ask.

“Ellie can’t find Abby,” Ilana’s voice quivers. She sits down on the bed and bounces the sack. I can’t smell the cats anymore. They must have disappeared when the girls walked in.

“I’m sure they’ll find him,” Stephanie’s mom says. “Why don’t you girls get ready for bed and then you can call your parents for an update?”

The bag begins to unzip. I never thought I would be so happy to hear a ripping noise. Light streaks into my vision as the backpack is opened. “Abby?” Ilana stares down at me. Her eyes are red and her cheeks are streaked with tear lines. “Abby!” she repeats. She lifts me up and snuggles me. I purr at her and lick her salty cheek. “Abby, you scared me so much. I thought I’d lost you.” Ilana hugs me so tight my eyes pop. But I’ve never been happier to see her either.

“You scared me too!” I tell her, but she only hears me squeak.

“Oh yeah,” Stephanie says, “We were pretending to pack him.”

“I guess you really did,” her mom sighs, “You girls should really be more careful.”

Ilana puts me on her lap and looks at Stephanie’s mom. “I guess I better call my parents.”

Stephanie’s mom hands her the phone. Ilana dials. “Hi Mom, um, we found Abby. I accidentally packed him. Can someone come and get him?”

I strain to hear the other end of the conversation, but the phone is too far away from me.

“Can I talk to Ellie?” Ilana says. There’s a pause. Ellie must now be on the phone because Ilana starts again, “I’m uh sorry I yelled at you.” She scratches behind my ears as she talks. “It wasn’t your fault he was lost.” She says a little more, then hangs up the phone. Handing it back to Stephanie’s mom, she says, “My dad and Ellie are coming to get him. They’re leaving now.”

Stephanie’s mom nods. “Okay, in the meantime, I’ll get you a towel to hold him in.” She leaves the room and returns with a towel. Then leaves again.

Ilana wraps me in the towel and Stephanie closes the door so the cats can’t get in. they change into their pajamas and take turns holding me until Dad and Ellie come to get me. When I’m handed off to Ellie, her face is as red and tear streaked as Ilana’s. I lick her cheek and purr at her too. Dad puts me in my shoebox carrier, complete with a warm towel and breathing holes poked in lid.

“I love you Abby,” Ilana calls. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

The ride home is faster and much more comfortable than the ride to the sleepover was. When we get home, Ellie kisses me and Dad puts me back in my cage. Mom gives me and my neighbor Aggie some fresh veggies as a treat for my ordeal. I squeak my thanks. Then the humans leave the room and Aggie and I are bathed in moonlight.

“So where were you?” Aggie asks.

“On an adventure,” I tell her.

“Sounds exciting!” She leans closer to the bars.

“Exciting is not exactly the word I would use…”

About the Memoirs of a Guinea Pig

Long before I had a dog, I had a guinea pig named Abby who acted like a dog. I prefer to think it’s because he knew how much I wanted one. Abby was originally named Abigail because we thought he was a girl when we got him. When he turned out to be a boy, the name Abby had already stuck. Besides having a confusing name, Abby had pink eyes but wasn’t an albino since his markings were tan and white, not pure white. Abby has been gone from this world for a long time, but the stories of his escapades live on in his memoirs. Mika and I have decided that these stories should be shared. To that end, occasionally there will be a “guest post” from Abby’s memoirs. We hope you enjoy his stories as much as we do.

Goodie Four Paws

“Don’t you eat that on my couch!” Ilana yells from the kitchen as I head towards the living room with my treat. My mouth is full of rubber, but I can almost taste the peanut butter stuffed inside the toy. The delicious nutty scent wafts to my nose and I start to salivate. Drips of drool leave a trail as I try to find a place to enjoy my snack.

I can hear Scottie still in the kitchen, licking the peanut butter out of his KONG. That’s what Ilana calls the rubber toys she stuffs the peanut butter in. She says they’re shaped like a bee hive, but I wouldn’t know if that’s true since the only thing about bees I’m an expert on is honey. Honey…

Wait! Peanut butter! Scottie just takes his treats and devours them right there and then. I don’t even think he swallows half the time. You can’t rush these things. You have to savor them, in a nice cozy spot—. I stand in the living room and survey my options. Hard wood floor, no. Couch. So inviting…I lean towards the couch.

“Uh uh Mika! You know better!” Ilana stops me in my tracks. How does she even know what I’m going to do? There’s a wall in between us.

I shake my head and turn to the big comfy chair. That seems like a good option. Ilana didn’t say anything about eating on the chair.

“And don’t even think about the chair either!” the voice carries from the kitchen.

“Humph!” I leave the living room and stalk through the rest of the house in search of the perfect treat devouring spot. Another couch, nope. A bed? Nope. I test the rug near the back doors, but it’s just not cozy enough.

Finally I settle in Scottie’s crate. It’s nice and padded in there with a big blanket. And the munching and purring coming from the guinea pig cage above adds to the ambiance. I settle down and try to enjoy my treat.

I hear Ilana come out of the kitchen and settle at the dining room table to do her art. I shake myself and concentrate on my treat. Holding the KONG down with both paws, I’m able to keep it in one place as I lick the peanut butter. But I just can’t get comfortable enough. Couch, couch, couch keeps running through my head. Like it’s whispering to me. I try to ignore it but the pull is too strong.

As if I don’t have control of my own body, I pick up my treat in my mouth and sneak to the couch. I’m careful not to let my nails click on the floor so Ilana doesn’t notice me. Almost there…

Yes! I’m up on the couch. Giving Ilana one eye to make sure she’s none the wiser, I begin to enjoy my treat.

Time passes and Ilana still hasn’t noticed me. Scottie comes out licking his lips and settles on the floor at Ilana’s feet. She reaches down to pat him. I wince, waiting for her to notice me, but she doesn’t.

I’ve cleaned about half of the peanut butter from the rubber when Ilana looks up and her eyes settle on me. I freeze. I can feel the anger wafting off Ilana but I don’t dare move.

“Mika. What did I say?” Ilana’s voice is serious. “Off the couch.”

I don’t move.

Ilana puts down her pencil. “One. Two.”

I wonder what comes after two. I’ve never tried to find out before.

There’s a beat of silence. Ilana stares at me. I stare back at her. The space between us is full and hot.

Scottie gets up. He walks over to me. He takes my KONG and drops it on the floor. He walks back to Ilana and lays at her feet again.

“Good boy.” Ilana pats him. Scottie looks up at her and lolls his tongue. Ilana goes back to drawing.

Scottie looks at me for a moment and I swear he’s grinning.

Refusing to let him win. I pick up the KONG, lift my head high, and prance back into his crate. I’ll finish the whole thing in there and then I might just take a nap for good measure. After I roll my scent all over his blanket, that is.

Word of the Month

Dog Induced Headache

[Dawg in-doosed hed-eyk]

noun

A pain located in the head brought on by a domesticated canid.

Occurs in one of two ways:

· The dog barks so much that a headache is developed simply by hearing it.

· The dog runs into you and bangs its large, thick scull against your own skull.

The latter is infinitely more effective, especially if the dog happens to be Mika.

Ex: Mika ran straight into me when I was bent over, now I can feel a dog induced headache developing.

Mika Doesn’t Know but I Do

This is happening. Mika is in the back seat. Sarah is sitting next to me in the passenger seat. There is a dog in the building waiting to meet us. My hands are clammy. My heart is racing. I grip the steering wheel and close my eyes. I take a deep breath and try to calm my nerves.

Why am I so worried? Mika was fine with Sammy. She really missed him when he passed.

Yes, but she has an issue with all other dogs. She’s too intense. It’s so much to deal with when that energy is in the form of a Pit Bull, how on earth is she ever going to get along with a new dog?

She has to get along with this dog. I need her to. For both my sanity and hers, she needs a friend. This friend. I wish she would realize she’s her own worst enemy.

I shake my head and concentrate on breathing. Worrying about what-ifs isn’t going to help. If I go in there nervous, both dogs will know it and it will be over before it starts.

“Ready?” Sarah breaks the silence.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” I turn around and look at my chestnut dog. She cocks her head and smiles at me. “Will you just for once not go crazy when you get in there?”

She continues to smile.

I sigh and get out of the car. Sarah gets out too. We leave Mika in the car so we can meet the dog first. Gravel from the parking lot slips between my feet and flip-flops as we crunch our way to the Doggie Day Care building. A petite young woman greets us inside.

“Ilana?” She asks, pushing her blond hair out of the way.

I nod, “Hi. Are you Amber?”

She smiles, “Yep. It’s great to finally meet you. Ready to meet Smokey?”

We follow Amber to a large room, more like a huge garage. On one end there is a chain link gate. The floor is littered with dog toys and a couch stands in a corner. Smokey is playing with a toy in the middle of the room. He’s bigger than I thought. I guess he weighs about 60lbs, all of which is muscle. His ears are cropped so they stand up and what’s left of his fur is black, with white on his chest. For some reason, he’s missing the majority of his hair past his shoulders.

If I could change his name more drastically, I’d probably call him Bruce Wayne. Unfortunately, he’s already 11yrs old, so if I want to change his name, and I definitely do, I need to change it to something that sounds similar to Smokey.

The woman in the room with Smokey comes over to us and extends a hand, “I’m Cindy, we’re glad you’re here. This guy really deserves a home. He’s such a good boy.”

We introduce ourselves and then Amber calls Smokey over. He lumbers up and sniffs us. The sniffing is loud and sounds more like he’s snorting at us. I pet his head since it’s the only place that has hair. “Do you know why he doesn’t have hair?” I ask.

“No clue,” Amber says, “He doesn’t have a thyroid problem, that’s already been checked.”

“It’s so weird,” Sarah says.

“His old owners must have shaved him. It’s called ‘the ghetto flea treatment’. If there isn’t any hair, there must not be fleas, right?” Cindy is dripping sarcasm.

“Do you think it will grow back?” I’d definitely prefer a dog with hair, although with the queen of brats in the car, I can’t afford to be so picky. If Smokey is everything else I need, then he’s coming home with or without hair.

Cindy shrugs, “It’s hard to tell.”

“Humm,” I frown. Then address the hairless wonder, “Well buddy, ready to meet your queen?” He looks up at me and wags his bald tail.

Amber comes with us to the car. I open Mika’s door and put on her muzzle.

“Just be good. Please like him. Please.” I tell her. I’m not sure she needs the muzzle, she isn’t actually aggressive. She’s just dominant and excited and it comes out as perceived aggression when she so much as sees another dog, usually. I think the muzzle is more for my nerves than to prevent any actual attack on Smokey.

“What a pretty girl!” Amber says.

“Thanks,” I say, trying to reign in my 50lb muscle dog. She’s smelled the other dogs and is straining at the leash to find them. I give the leash a jerk. “Quit it!” I tell Mika, “Relax,” that’s for both of us.

We make it across the parking lot and inside the building in fits because I refuse to let myself be dragged. But when Mika sees Smokey, she makes a b-line for him. In a few moments she’s almost to him. I grab her collar and yank it back. “Enough!” I glare down at my dog and set my jaw. The way she’s acting, you’d never know she was loose leash trained. “Sit Down.”

Mika does not sit. She stares at Smokey. Her hair is completely on end. I pinch her hips and she sits down. When I have a good hold on her, Cindy leads Smokey on his leash over to Mika so he can sniff her.

Mika never takes her eyes off Smokey. ‘Grrrrrr’ rumbles from her throat. I yank her collar in a quick motion to snap her out of it. Smokey just sniffs her and wags his tail.

When he’s made a full circle, Cindy has him sit so Mika can have her turn to sniff. I lead Mika over to Smokey. The fur on her back that was standing on end begins to fall as she sniffs. They seem to be doing fine together so at a signal from Cindy, I drop the leash. Cindy does the same.

Free from human restraint, Smokey bounds into the center of the room and does a few laps around the perimeter. Mika joins him. I can tell she’s happy to have a canine friend again.

“Do you think I should take her muzzle off?” I ask the ladies.

“I think so, she doesn’t seem to have a problem with him,” Amber says.

I call Mika over and relieve her of her muzzle. Her first reaction is to grab a toy and tease Smokey with it. I laugh at my ridiculous queen. Then a dog walks past the chain link gate.

Mika drops the toy. My nerves come rushing back.

Both Mika and Smokey run to the gate. Smokey barks, a deep, slow bark. Mika’s bark is not slow. Her barks are fast and loud. She pushes against the gate. Another dog walks by. Mika pushes harder at the metal, her bark growing in intensity. She looks at Smokey and for one awful moment my stomach drops. She’s going to redirect. She’s going to attack. I can’t even imagine what breaking up a serious Pit Bull fight would take.

And then the moment passes. There is no fight, not even a growl directed towards Smokey. The intruding dogs are gone and forgotten.

A wave of relief washes over me. This is going to work. I’m getting another dog, or rather, my dog is getting a dog. Just as soon as I change that ridiculous name of his.

***

Smokey, now Scottie, was 11yrs old when he was dumped in a kill shelter in Chicago, IL, and put on death row simply because of his age and breed. The amazing people at Chicago Land Bully Breed Rescue (CBBR) sprung him from “jail” and he hung out at a doggie daycare in Madison, WI until we met him and gave him his forever home. There are plenty of other incredible dogs waiting for their chance at a happily ever after. If you think your pack might have room for one more and for more information, visit CBBR’s website http://www.cbbr.org/

*The term Pit Bull is used loosely in this story. There is actually no Pit Bull dog breed. Pit Bull as a term is used to describe any dog with the bully breed characteristics of a muscular body, strong, set jaw, large head, etc.

*Scottie crossed the rainbow bridge at 16yrs old just weeks after we lost Mika. I think he had a broken heart.

Mika Doesn’t Know

Ilana is nervous. I can feel it. More nervous than she’s ever been. The feeling seeps off of her and wraps over me. It makes my hair stand on end. I crawl up to her from my spot at the foot of her bed. She’s not asleep. I’m not sure she ever slept last night. She kept tossing around and wouldn’t let me on the bed until almost daylight. I lick my nose and smush it in her face.

“Eww Mika!” Ilana sits up and wipes her arm across her face. “You’re so gross!”

“Arwoof!”

“You need to go potty huh? Come on.” She drags out the come on as she pushes her covers off and gets out of bed.

Moments later I’m outside doing a sniff-sweep of the yard perimeter before bathing in the summer sun. When she calls me back in, she’s changed from night clothes to day clothes. Day clothes don’t hide nerves any more than night clothes do. I begin to wonder why she’s so nervous but then breakfast falls into my bowl and Ilana says eat.

When I’m done with breakfast I sit and shake for my treat. Then I start to wonder again about Ilana’s unease but she pulls out my collar and leash. WALK! But then she takes out my harness. CAR RIDE! Even better! I’m so excited to go with her that I barely register the muzzle that slips into Ilana’s purse before she opens the door for me and I jump in the back seat. She buckles me in. My whole body is wiggling with excitement.

“Be a really good girl today, ok? I really need you to be such a good girl,” Ilana says and pats my head. She’s trying to control her fear but she’s barely made a dent.

My ears droop. What’s going on? But then we’re out of the garage and the houses and trees streak by and I forget again what it is I’m supposed to be worried about.

We pull into a house I’ve never seen and Sarah comes out. She’s worried too, but not nearly as much as Ilana. Sarah is more excited than scared.

Sarah! I wag my tail and try to jump into her seat when she gets in. I’m prevented by my buckle.

“Hi Miki,” Sarah laughs. She pets my head. “Big day for you and you don’t even know it.”

“Mika, get back and stay,” Ilana says to me. To Sarah she says, “Thanks for coming. I’m not sure I could handle both of them alone if something happens.”

“You bet. I’m excited to meet him,” Sarah says.

Him? Who are they talking about?

And then we’re moving again and this time the houses and trees disappear and all I can see are cars. Fast cars. I watch for a while out the window until I get tired. Worrying about Ilana and trying to figure out what’s going wore me out. I drift off to Ilana and Sarah singing along to the radio.

When I wake up, the car is coming to a stop. The girls get out and disappear into a strange big building. Then they come out again with another woman. Ilana opens the car door for me and puts on my muzzle. “Oh Miki, just be good,” she says. Then she unhooks my harness and leads me out of the car.

Dogs. I smell dogs. My nose is doing over time. I strain at the leash.

Ilana holds me back. She shakes my leash, “Relax.”

I’m not sure if that’s for me or her.

“She’s so pretty!” The new lady says. Normally I would want to meet her but I’m overwhelmed at the moment.

“Thank you,” Ilana says, “I really hope this works. The muzzle is just a precaution. Like I said, she’s not aggressive, just—particular.”

“I know. I’m sure it will be fine. He’s such a good boy. If I didn’t already have two, I’d take him in a heartbeat.”

We walk in fits and starts to the building. Ilana is constantly reminding me not to pull and to relax and asking me what she just said.

It’s just so hard to listen. There are dogs in there and I have to get to them.

We walk inside and the lady escorts us to a big room. At one end there is a chain link gate that look out onto a yard. Toys are scattered all over the floor and couch is in the corner. There is also another woman holding a leash. My eyes follow the curve of the lash down to the big dog at the other end. I make a beeline for that dog.

Ilana yanks me back before I make it, “Enough,” her jaw is clenched. “Sit down.”

I don’t move. I want that dog. I stare at him. He looks down at me and wags his tail. Ilana pinches my hips to get me to sit. She holds me still, “Stay.”

The lady with the other dog brings him close so he can sniff me. He’s sniffing me first! I can’t believe this is happening. I’m the boss! He has to know it! I follow him with my eyes. “Grrrrrrr,” escapes me.

“Uh uh,” Ilana jolts the leash a little.

The dog has made a full circle around me without saying anything. The lady with his leash makes him sit. Then it’s my turn. I want to rush him but I think better of it. I try not to let Ilana’s nerves influence me. I walk over to him. “I am Mika. This is my human.”

“I don’t know my name,” he says, “I used to have one. Then I had another one. So I don’t really know. Do you think she could be my human too?” His tail beats out a rhythm on the floor.

“Don’t you already have a human?” I indicate the woman holding his leash.

“Oh she’s not my human. I used to have some. But then they took me to a place with lots of dogs and cages and left me there. I’m not sure why.”

I relax a little. The same thing happened to me, before Ilana found me. I feel my leash slack and hear it drop to the floor. The same thing happens to his leash.

As soon as his leash is dropped, he bounds out and around the room. I follow him. I forgot how much fun a friend is. I forgot how much I miss Sammy. Sammy. I pause in our romp. I look at Ilana. Then I look at this new dog. Sammy shared Ilana with me. Maybe I should share her with this dog. Maybe.

“I can’t believe how well she’s doing,” I hear Ilana say. I can feel her relief flushing out the fear.

“I know,” Sarah says, “And look how cute they are.”

“Do you think I should take her muzzle off?”

“Let’s try it,” one of the ladies says, “She doesn’t seem to be having an issue.”

“That’s because he’s so easygoing,” the other lady says.

“Come here Miki,” Ilana calls and slaps her thigh.

I run over to her and she takes my muzzle off. I stretch my mouth and grab a toy. I run over to the dog and shake it in his face. He tries to gab it. I growl and dance away. He tries again but I’m faster than him. How fun this is!

Suddenly a dog walks past the gate. I drop my toy and run up to the gate. He is with me. His cut ears swivel forward, listening. I wonder why someone cut his ears and shaved him. There is a lot about humans I don’t understand. Another dog is walking by. I push at the gate and growl at the intruder.

He barks, a deep, confident bark. A warning to the other dog.

The interloper passes. I am still annoyed. But I am not mad at the dog next to me, only the interrupter.

I lift my nose and sniff the air. I still smell dogs. I do not smell Ilana’s fear. It has all disappeared.

“Miki,” Ilana calls. I leave the gate and come to her. “What do you think? Should we take the old man home?”

I wag my tail and try to lick her exposed leg.

Sarah laughs, “I guess that’s a yes.”

Ilana smiles, “I guess so.”

“Come here Smokey,” the lady who came to the car calls. The dog comes over and she hugs him. “You be a good boy. You’re going home now.” He wags his tail and snorts.

“Are you going to keep his name?” The other lady asks.

“I was thinking about Scottie,” Ilana says. “It sounds similar to Smokey so I think it won’t be too hard of a change.”

“Plus now you’ll have Mika and Scottie like from the movie Euro Trip,” Sarah adds.

“True,” Ilana says.

Everyone laughs.

Sarah takes Scottie’s leash and Ilana takes mine. We all walk out to the car and Ilana opens the back. There’s a crate in there I didn’t even notice before. “Up,” she says to Scottie. He jumps up and into the crate. “Good boy.”

Next she lets me into the back and buckles me in. Then she and Sarah spend some time talking outside.

I lean over the seat and try to look at Scottie through the holes in his crate. “I’ve decided that I’ll share Ilana with you. But understand that she was mine first and that will always be the way it is.”

“No worries,” Scottie says, “I’ll just be happy to be home.”

“Good. Then you’re going to love it. I bet we can even get some fries out of them when they stop for lunch.”

“Fries?”

“Oh boy, have you been missing out!”

Ilana and Sarah get in the car and soon we’re passing houses and trees again. I keep a look out for a food building. I’m sure they’re going to stop. Scottie has so much to learn and I get to teach him. I finally have a friend again. This is going to be great!

Introducing Mika the Beanie Baby

Mika™

DATE OF BIRTH: October 23, 2007

I’ll share your bed, your food, your heart,

I’ll be inspiration for your art.

Protection is my middle name,

How did you live before I came?

All of this and more, you’ll see,

The best dog in the world is me!

*The TM symbol is just to mimic the beanie baby tag

Sneakah Peekah Mika

My Dad took the lyrics to the radio show Little Orphan Annie and catered it to Mika.

Here are the results:

Who's that little chatter box?
The one with pretty auburn locks?
Whom do you see?
It's Sneakah Peekah Mika.

She and Lani* make a pair,
They never seem to have a care!
Cute little she,
It's Sneakah Peekah Mika.

Bright eyes, cheeks, a healthy glow,
There's a store of healthiness handy.
Mite-size, always on the go,
If you want to know - "Arf", goes Mika.

Always wears a sunny smile,
Now, wouldn't it be worth a while,
If you could be,
Like Sneakah Peekah Mika?

*Lani is one of my nicknames

Changed lyrics written by Michael Ostrar

The Incredible Inedible Egg

Most toys labeled "indestructible" die immediately on contact with Mika’s jaws, even if the mascot on the packaging is a pit bull type dog or a trainer who supposedly specialized in pit bulls gave me the suggestions. The only time a toy ever lasts more than a few minutes is when she can’t decide where to lay down and destroy it. She’ll walk around the house with the toy in her mouth lying down and getting up, whining because she can’t make up her mind.

Until the day my mom and I walked into a small pet shop…

“Can I help you?” the store clerk asked.

“Maybe,” I said. “I have a pit bull who’s a tough chewer. I’m looking for a toy she can’t easily destroy.”

He walked over to the toy section, “Well, we have the fire hose, the tire, the “Tuff” series, the—”

“Sorry to cut you off, but I’ve already tried all of those,” I told him. “Do you have anything else?”

He thought for a moment, “Well, we do have that giant egg in the window. It’s good for dogs because they can’t get a good hold on it to chew it up. Would you like to see it?”

I looked at my mom and she shrugged. “Why not?” I said to the clerk.

He walked to the window display, retrieved the egg, and brought it to me.

I examined it with my critical eye, looking for any weak spots in the craftsmanship. I couldn’t find any. Essentially it was a “dinosaur sized” egg shape, bright red and made of hard, solid plastic. I checked the price and wasn’t scared off.

“What do you think mom? Think this will take more than five minutes to destroy?”

“It’s worth a shot,” Mom said.

“Alright,” I said, turning to the clerk, “I’ll take it.”

When we got home I brought out the toy and put it on the floor in front of Mika. Immediately she pounced and tried to grab it with her mouth, but the egg slipped away. She tried again, lunging and attempting to use her paws to steady it. Again the egg eluded her. Mika was beginning to get frustrated and my mom and I were beginning to be amused.

Mika kept chasing the rolling, bouncing egg, trying to get a grasp of it, but it continued to prove stubborn. “Arf!Arf! Arriff!” high pitched barking exploded from my dog. The kind that only comes out when she’s exasperated.

Bang! Clang! Crash! The egg bumped into furniture.

Boom! Snap! Clash! Mika’s body hit every chair and table leg chasing the egg. She yelled at it, “Arf! Ariff! Riff!”

“You’d better stop her before she breaks my furniture,” Mom said, trying to keep a straight face.

“I guess,” I laughed. I caught Mika by the collar and picked up the egg in the other hand. She still wanted it when I let go of her collar so I had to take it and hide it. Clearly this toy was doing its job, but really, it needed more space than my parents’ cramped house.

***

When I moved into my own house with Mika, I found the egg again. My house had a large fenced in yard, so I tossed the egg outside one day. Off went Mika after it. She rolled it all over the yard barking in irritation. A few times she even popped it up along the fence but she never caught it. When she began to show exhaustion, I took the egg away since I knew she would never quit on her own.

“Good girl Miki,” I told her, patting her on the head and grinning.

We walked inside and she went straight to her water bowl. I heard sloppy lapping and knew drips of water would be all over my kitchen for me to step in with dry socks.

Finished quenching her thirst, Mika came into the dining room and collapsed on the cool wood. She opened her mouth and let her long pink tongue roll out and hit the floor. This toy had thus far lived up to its reputation as well as provided me with entertainment while wearing out my dog. Score one for the “tough toys”, finally!

Mirror Ghost

“Here we are Miki,” Ilana smiles at me as she lets me out of the car. We’re at a new house, our new house. We’re moving here, with the guinea pigs, as soon as she fixes it up. I’m not sure why we have to leave Mom and Dad, but I guess that’s how human packs work.

Ilana takes my leash and leads me into the house. It smells clean, dusty, and empty all at once. There’s hardly any furniture and no scrumptious cooking smell coming from the kitchen. It smells bare.

“Isn’t it great?” Ilana asks me.

Even though I know she doesn’t expect an answer, I wag my tail.

“And you’re totally gonna love this! Come on.” She walks to the back of the house and I follow. She stops at two big windows and bends down to move a bar away from them. Then she grabs a handle on one of the giant windows and pulls. The window slides open. It’s a door! “Go on Miki. Go have some fun!”

I stick my head into the fresh air in the back yard and test the breeze with my nose. I scan the whole yard and notice it has a tall wooden fence on all sides. Perfect! My yard, lots of privacy, and no leash! All at once I burst out of the house and run straight for the fence. I make an entire perimeter check and then rip race around and around and around. I feel like I’ll lift off the ground at any moment. I have never been this free.

Ilana did this just for me. She got me a safe yard because she knows I don’t really like to share. I know she gets frustrated with me when I tell yell at other dogs on walks and that’s why we can’t go to a ‘dog park’ for me to run around. I can’t help it if the other dogs won’t realize I’m the boss.

I felt a little bad when I heard the trainer at school tell Ilana that I’m not allowed to come back until I get help from a specialized trainer. The specialized trainer came and couldn’t help with my ‘reactivity’ either. Ilana is very disappointed in me for that. She wanted to train a dog for therapy work. I’m a one person therapy dog. Not quite what she had in mind.

If she could understand me, maybe we could fix some things. Ilana is good at communicating with me, but not that good. I wish I could act the way Ilana wants me to around other dogs. I am very well behaved otherwise. I make extra sure of that. But when I see another dog, I just can’t help it.

So now Ilana got me my own yard. I love love love her.

I run until my sides hurt and my tongue is almost touching the grass. Then I come in and sneak a kiss on Ilana’s leg in appreciation.

“Gross! Mika quit it!” She pushes me away, but pats my side so I know she’s only half serious.

“Roo roo roo!”

“I have some work to do now Miki,” Ilana says. She goes into one of the rooms in the house and starts pulling up the floor. I’m not sure why she wants to take the carpet floor off. It’s much softer than the wood underneath. But I’m not sure why Ilana does a lot of the she things she does so I just add this to the list and start to explore.

I’m tired from running. I decide to spend as much time on the soft floor as possible before Ilana gets rid of it all.

I walk in to a room and lay down on the squishy, comfortable rug. It’s dark in here except for the light shining through the door from the big window-doors in the other room. I’m just settling down to nap when I see something move out of the corner of my eye.

Quick! I lift my head up and look at the wall.

Quick! Another dog lifts her head up and loos right at me!

It is not a wall. This room is bigger than I thought.

I start to growl a warning. This is my house and my girl. The dog growls a warning back, but I can’t exactly hear her. I can see her lips curled back slightly and her face wrinkled up. She is mad. Her teeth flash just at the same time mine do. She is not backing down.

I will not back down. This is my house and my girl and I am not a quitter. My ancestors were bred not to quit. Ever.

I jump to my feet.

The dog jumps to her feet.

I lunge toward her in hopes of scaring her off.

She is not scared. She lunges back.

“Enough,” I bark, “This is my house and my girl!”

“Enough,” she barks at the same time, “This is my house and my girl!”

“Liar!’ I rush at her. I am snarls and teeth. A minute ago I was exhausted from running, but now my energy is back. My fur stands on end. My muscles work to bring me into this dog, to stop her from taking my girl.

She rushes at me in the same instant. Ears pinned against her head, her fur too is standing straight.

We are about to meet. I open my mouth to get her ruff and bring her down.

SMACK.

I topple backwards. I feel like I hit a wall. I sit up and look at the dog. She is sitting up too. She is dizzy and confused too. She shakes her head as I shake mine.

Then we are up again and charging each other.

SMACK.

Again we are down. We sit up and bark in frustration. How can it be that we cannot touch each other? How is it that she is so real and yet it feels like I hit a wall when I rush her?

I decide to let her be for a while. I circle on the carpet and settle down again to take a nap. But then, from the corner of my eye I see movement.

I am up and alert. I stare across the room at the wall that is not a wall with the dog intruder. She stares at me. I feel her eyes boring into me. I snarl and bark and charge.

She mimics me. We are about to hit when SMACK. I topple backwards and sprawl on the carpet. The invisible wall!

“How is this happening?” I scream in frustration, “Why can’t I get to you?”

The dog commiserates with me.

“What’s wrong?” Ilana asks, coming to check on me. She stands in the doorway and looks at me. “What’s all this racket for?”

“Woo roo roo woof!” I tell her and then out of the corner of my eye, another movement.

I charge the dog as she charges me.

SMACK.

Ilana is laughing even before I hit the nonexistent wall.

I sit up and look at her, confused. This is no time to laugh! There is an intruder.

“Miki,” Ilana tries to control her laughter but she’s not quite successful. “That’s a mirror. The other dog is you.”

Me? How can that be?

Ilana turns the light on. “See?” She walks into the room and stands in front of the ‘mirror’. There is another Ilana standing next to the other dog!

Then she pets me. The other Ilana pets the other dog!

How can this be? Humans make strange things.

“It’s a reflection,” Ilana explains.

Reflection. Mirror. Her. Me.

I walk up to the other dog, the other me, and sniff. She smells hard and human made, not like dog. I lick the other me. She tastes cold.

I step back and look up at Ilana. “Okay?” she asks.

“Woof.”

Ilana turns the light off and goes back to doing pulling up the carpet in the room she came from.

I settle down for a nap but I sleep facing the ‘mirror’ this time. No corner-of-the-eye movements will happen this time.

This is my house and my girl and I never quit. Ever.

Closet Monster

Ilana has another pet who isn’t part of our pack. He lives in the closet. He must like dark places. I don’t understand why, I love the sun, so much so that Ilana sometimes calls me a cat. I let her get away with it because she’s my person, but it’s such an insult, I hate hearing it.

The monster comes out once a week. I don’t understand weeks the way humans do, but I know it’s been a week because Ilana sleeps in instead of getting up early, putting on nice clothes, and leaving me stuck in a crate all day. Just because I didn’t hold my bladder once, got into the garbage once, counter surfed a couple times, opened some doors I wasn’t supposed to (one of them being the refrigerator), ate the eyes off of one or two stuffed animals that weren’t mine, and attempted a decapitation of another one…I have to be in a stinking crate all day during the week when Ilana is at work. But not on the weekend! I even get to sleep in her bed in the morning on the weekend! So, that’s how I know the pet monster comes out once a week, on the weekend.

He’s sort of tall, but very skinny. He walks pretty funny with his mouth on the floor and back-end in the air and his tail is so long that Ilana has to wind it up around him when he goes back in the closet. She named him Dyson.

Yesterday was a weekend and Ilana took Dyson out right on schedule. She unwound his tail and put it in the wall and then he woke up. I despise it when he wakes up. I don’t know what to do. I don’t understand why Ilana keeps him. All he does is roar and growl and fuss and make such a racket I can barely hear myself bark, let alone think!

Ilana started pushing Dyson around the house, feeding him. He loves to eat dust, paper bits, dirt, and girl hair. His favorite food is dog fur though. It’s a treat for him and Ilana loves to feed him treats. She gives him all the dog fur I worked hard to shed on the couch. I can’t believe he never gets bigger with all the dog fur he eats.

I’m worried that since he likes dog fur so much, he’ll decide one day that he should just skip the floor and the couch and go right to the source. I do not want to be monster food. So when he roared at me yesterday, I fought back. I attacked him on the corner of his mouth. I bit down hard but Dyson didn’t stop. He wasn’t fazed at all.

I let go and took a few steps back to reorient myself.

Again he roared and headed straight for me.

I growled a warning but Dyson didn’t listen. He rammed into my paws and I bit at him again. Biting and dancing so he couldn’t eat my toes. Biting and dancing. Biting and dancing. Dyson was not giving up.

Then Ilana broke into our fight, “MIKA QUIT IT!” she yelled.

“How can you let this monster do this to me? He’s going to eat me! Can’t you see that? He might even want to eat you! I can’t let that happen to either of us,” I barked back, deep and loud so she could hear me.

“QUIT IT!” was all she yelled back.

I love Ilana. I’d do anything for her and I’m so stressed when we’re separated that I’m going grey way too fast, but she’s not always the brightest. That’s why it’s even more important for me to protect her in situations like this. I wish she could understand dog language. It would make things much easier.

“I’m sorry but it’s for your own good!” I told her. I’m sure all she heard was, “Roo woo rouf rouf rouf!” I turned back to the monster who had gotten away during our conversation. Bounding toward the couch I intercepted him and attacked again.

“MIKA, I’M COUNTING TO THREE. ONE…TWO…” Ilana boomed.

I hate when she counts. I let go of Dyson’s mouth and backed away. I don’t know what happens when she gets to three but I’m sure it’s infinitely worse than getting eaten by Dyson.

“Fine,” I barked at her, “I’ll monitor Dyson from a distance, but if he tries anything, I’m going in!”

Looking for Love With a Lifetime Warranty

I’m passionate about balls, rope toys, treats, and HUMAN FOOD! In my spare time I test the comfort level of all surfaces in the house, sometimes I have to use my skills as a contortionist to fit. Instead of watching TV, I prefer to sneak attack my human pack members with kisses. I’m loyal almost to a fault and will even squeeze through the fence to be with you. If you’re hurt, I’ll nurse you. If you’re threatened by outside forces, I’ll protect you. Compliments and attention make me melt. So, if you’re willing to let me be the boss, walk all over you, and want to join in on the sneak attacks, bark at me.

Dog Gone: Part Two

I pull the car up in front of the house and park. I lean back in my seat and sigh. Today was long, but I’m done and it’s Friday. I can relax for the whole weekend. I take the keys out of the ignition, grab my bag, and get out of the car.

Dad comes outside before I reach the front door. His expression is grim.

“Dad? What’s wrong?”

Dad gives me a weak smile. “Sweetheart…” he says.

And I already know. My heart is dropping.

“…it’s Sammy. He’s gone,” Dad finishes. He drops his head.

I’m speechless. Gone. The word echoes in my mind and bounces to my heart. My heart is still sinking. Gone is a weight on my chest. I can’t breathe.

“Sweetheart, I’m so sorry,” Dad is looking at me with anguish in his eyes.

He doesn’t know how to comfort me. We don’t hug. My sister hugs everyone, I don’t. I do want a hug but not from Dad. I want to rush in the house and pick up Sammy and burry my face in his curly fur and cry. I can’t. I can’t hug Sammy anymore. He’s gone. Gone. Dad used that word like Sammy’s lost or something. I know that’s not what he meant. Dead is what he meant.

My face is getting hot. I can feel tears rallying in the corners of my eyes. “How?” I manage.

Dad hesitates.

Now it’s not just my heart that is dropping. My whole body it threatening collapse. “Tell me how.”

“I think he bled out.”

“What?” Somehow I find strength. I push past Dad and into the house. He follows me in. I drop my bag on the floor and whirl to face him. “Where is he?” I demand.

“Up there,” he moves his head to indicate up the stairs.

I rush up the stairs two at a time. There’s a big plastic bag in the hall by my room. My pace slows. I need to see, want to see, but— Then Mika is there, next to me. She nudges me with her muzzle. I pat her head and realize my hand is shaking. Together we walk to the bag. I lean over to look inside.

There is Sammy. The same Sammy who was perfectly fine when I left this morning. The same Sammy who’s still wearing his little onesie because he’s lost the fur on his back, and his dingy red collar. It was bright red when we brought him home from the shelter nine and a half years ago. He looks the same, except that his spirit is gone. I push the top of the bag away and sit on the stairs.

I knew he was going to pass away soon. He was 17.5 years old after all, and had recently really been declining. But I didn’t think it would be like this. I thought it would be peaceful in his sleep. Poor Sammy. He was alone. It was so slow. I hope it wasn’t painful.

Mika sits next to me and leans in. She tries to lick me. I push her away, and realize Sammy wasn’t alone. Mika was here. Oh God! “Oh God. Dad, Mika didn’t do this did she?”

Dad looks up at me from the bottom of the stairs. “I don’t think so,” he says, “I checked them both. There weren’t any bite marks.”

I don’t want to believe it. I can’t lose two dogs at the same time. I can’t. She wouldn’t hurt him. She’s a good girl. But that seed of doubt starts to split in me. The whispers about vicious pit bulls that I know to be false trickle into my thoughts. I look at Mika. She smiles and cocks her head at me. No way. There’s no way she hurt Sammy. She loved him too.

“I have to know for sure,” I say. I take out my phone and check the time. “Let’s go now before the vet closes. Did you take care of Mika?”

Dad nods, “I fed her and took her out.”

“Okay, can you take Sammy please? I can’t deal with it.” I get up and walk down the stairs and grab my purse and keys.

Dad goes upstairs and gently picks up the bag. I open the door for him.

“Be a good girl Miki,” I tell the confused dog on the landing. “We’ll be back.”

***

We sit and wait in the sparse waiting room at the vet’s office. It smells like animals and cleaner. I’m glad no one else is here. I’ve been battling tears and I know I’ll lose any minute. I read the posters on the walls about flea and tick prevention and the dangers of pet obesity. There’s a pet scale on the floor in one corner and a jar of treats on the office counter. Sammy will never use the scale or need those treats again. I hope Mika will.

I can’t stand this waiting. I want to jump out of my skin. I need to know if I will lose another dog today. I look at Dad and whisper, “Thank you.”

Dad holds my hand and squeezes. He gives me a short smile.

The doctor comes out of the back. We are the only ones in the waiting room so she doesn’t bother ushering us into a private room. She leans on the door frame that leads to the back rooms and smiles at me. She is trying to be gentle. “It looks like he broke his jaw. His bones were very brittle because of his age and size and just moving his mouth could have done it. I’m so sorry honey.” She pauses to let this sink in, then continues. “There’s no indication of any bites or fighting. This was an accident.”

I let out the breath of air I didn’t know I was holding. I slump in my seat. Relief that I will be able to keep the dog I have left flows over me. Mika is a good girl. The horror tales about pit bulls remain false. I’m ashamed I ever doubted my loyal dog.

“Do you want to keep his collar and the clothing?” the doctor asks.

“The collar,” I manage. My voice is beginning to quake. “Can we have him cremated? I want to bury him.”

The Doctor nods and disappears into the back again. She comes back with the collar.

I fill out the paperwork and Dad drives us home because I’m melting.

***

Mom is home. Dad tells her what happened. I go straight upstairs and collapse on my bed. I notice my quilt is missing, but I don’t care enough to find out why. I bury my head in my pillow and surrender my battle. I cry for the sweet old buddy I lost today. Tears fall for a long time and Mika lays next me.

Mom comes in and sits at the edge of the bed. She talks, but I don’t really hear her. Eventually I fall asleep.

***

The weekend was hard. Going to work on Monday was hard and coming home to a slight dog created mess was frustrating. Work was a little better today and now I’m home. I can take Mika for a walk and we can enjoy our time together. I want to spend time with the dog I still have. Together we can help each other move forward.

I walk into the house and my plan for a long walk vanishes. The house is a mess, worse than yesterday. Putrid odors fill the air. Mika is nowhere to be found. I drop my bag and keys and go to the kitchen. The pocket door is pushed halfway into the wall. I was the last one to leave this morning and I know I closed it. I step through the threshold.

Garbage and food are everywhere, chairs are toppled, and the refrigerator door gapes open. I close the fridge and follow the trail of destruction into the living room. Raw fish and empty packaging lay discarded under the desk. My patience is all but gone. Emotions run thin. I walk to the foot of the stairs. I know Mika is in my room.

She is grieving, and bored, and alone. I know this. I know she is a dog. But those aren’t excuses for bad behavior and I don’t need this right now. I’m supposed to be enjoying her, not spending all my time cleaning up her mess. She knows better.

I put my hands on my hips, “Mika, come here.” My voice is hard.

Mika slinks out of my room and cowers at the top of the stairs.

“Come here,” I point in front of my feet.

She skulks down the stairs and stands shaking in front of me. Her tail is tight under her legs and her head is so low it’s almost touching the ground.

“Listen,” I tell her, “This is enough. I get that you’re sad. I’m sad too. Instead of cleaning up your mess every day and being angry at you, I want to spend time with you.” My voice softens, “Let’s spend some time together. Don’t you want that?”

She slowly loosens her tail and wags it. Thump, thump, thump, against the floor.

“Okay,” I say and the edge is back in my voice. I am done with her shtick. “Then you need to QUIT it. It’s really ENOUGH.”

Mika seems to nod. Then she turns around and hightails it back upstairs. I know she’s put herself in her bed for a time out.

I clean up Mika’s mess. I almost gag as I deal with the raw fish. Apparently I don’t like it any more than she does. I can’t believe she figured out how to open the kitchen door and the refrigerator door. I allow myself a little smile. She’s a smart dog, too smart. Sammy was my buddy, and I’ll never forget him, but I still have a dog and she’s never going to let me forget that. Ever.

Dog Gone: Part One

The feeling that something is wrong creeps into my dreams, tugging. Now conscious, I lift my head and yawn to get rid of the leftover sleep. I test the air with my nose. There’s the familiar smell of home, cooking mixed with the scents of my pack, human and animal. Another scent reaches me, faint, but getting stronger. I know this smell. It’s too much, too strong. My fur stands up. Sammy.

I get up from the couch in the living room and pad up the stairs towards Ilana’s room where Sammy stays. I never make it to her room. Sammy is lying on the floor in the hall. His breathing is shallow. I walk up to him. My paws are wet. Blood. So much blood. I didn’t know he had so much in him. He’s so little.

He looks at me from big foggy eyes. He’s been mostly blind ever since I met him. He stays in his bed on the floor in Ilana’s room and sleeps all day. He only really gets up for her. I used to try to get him to play, but he just grumbled at me. He’s always grumpy, except when Ilana is there. She loves him. She’s going to be sad. I know he can’t be fixed. I can already smell past the blood.

I’ve smelled this once before. One of the guinea pigs had this smell. Ilana cried for a long time. Then she took the guinea pig out of the cage and put him in a shoe box. She took the whole thing outside and buried it while our whole pack watched. Mom said something about the guinea pig’s life. I don’t remember what. I only remember how much Ilana’s lips quivered and how red her eyes were. And that was only a guinea pig. This is Sammy.

Sammy moves his head a little. I bend closer to examine him. His jaw hangs funny. That’s where he’s leaking. I lick him there to try and stop the leak. My mouth fills with warmth and metal. It’s no use. It will stop soon, when there isn’t any more left, but I can’t stop it. Not even with my big tongue. Oh Sammy! You can’t leave. What will Ilana do? What will I do? We need you. I can’t take care of her by myself. I can’t get through thunderstorms without you.

My paws are soaking now. Sammy is soaking. His own life surrounds him in a pool. He moves his head slightly again. I look into his glass eyes. He’s almost gone, but I know what he’s saying. He wants me to take care of our girl. He needs me to do this thing because he can’t stay anymore. It’s his time to go and my time to be strong.

I don’t want to be strong.

I shake my head at him. He blinks once more. His eyes say I can do it. I have to. Then they glaze over. Empty. Sammy is gone. I lift my head up to the ceiling and howl, long and low. I wish I was a human so I could cry. I look down at the empty body at my feet and my brow furrows. Why did you leave?

I bound into Ilana’s room and jump on her bed. I make dark paw prints all over. I rear up to reach the shelf above the bed. Ilana puts her stuffed animals up there, away from me. I strain to reach one. I grab it by the foot and drag it down on to the bed. I rip into it. Satisfaction overwhelms me. I tear off the head and pull the stuffing out. It takes no time to destroy this toy. Ilana will be mad…later.

I’m surrounded by the limp stuffed animal carcass, stuffing innards, and bloody paw prints. I look at Sammy again through the doorway. I rush off the bed, through the blood, and down the stairs. I leap at the front window in the living room and search the sidewalk. I want to tell someone what happened, but I’m alone.

A rabbit eats grass on the front lawn. I bark at it. I bark and bark and bark. My deep bark starts to pitch higher. I bark until my voice hurts. The rabbit hops away. I run back upstairs, through the wet, and climb onto Ilana’s bed. I settle in amoung the stuffing and stare at the empty dog body in the hall until I fall asleep.

Dad is home.

“Mika!” he calls, “Come here Miki.”

I don’t move.

“Mika?”

It’s a question now. I can hear him clomping up the stairs.

“Jeezus. Shit,” Dad inhales.

Dad found Sammy. I lift my head. I get off the bed and come to the doorway. I sit and look at him and wish again that I could cry.

Dad looks at me, “What happened? Did you do something? God Miki, tell me you didn’t do anything.” Dad covers his face with his hand and takes a deep breath.

I cry at him with my voice.

His hand drops. He backs away from the Sammy mess and kneels. “Come here Miki. I know you’re a good girl. But I have to check.” His voice is gentle. He gives me a tight smile.

I come over to him and he examines me. Then he walks over to Sammy and examines him. There aren’t any bite marks of course. I would never bite my little big brother. I’m hurt that Dad would think that but I know he had to make sure. It’s because of that name people always call me: Pit Bull. It scares a lot of people but I still haven’t figured out why.

“Alright,” Dad turns away from the body, “Come on. I’ll take you out and then I have to clean this up. Ilana can’t see him like this. It’ll break her.”

I bark in agreement and for the first time since Sammy left, I wag my tail.

I can do this, take care of her. I will keep my promise to Sammy.

Bedside Manner

The alarm blared at a crazy hour in the morning. I wanted to roll over and go back to sleep, but Ilana got up. She got dressed and turned to me, “Come on Miki, outside!” but I could tell her enthusiasm was forced. She emanated unease and I wasn’t sure why.

Reluctantly, I got up, stretched, yawned, and followed her out of her room to the back doors. Ilana opened the door for me and told me to “go potty”. Then she closed the door and went to do whatever it is she does when I’m outside. I didn’t want to leave her alone since she was so nervous, but I knew she wouldn’t let me in until I did my business.

Ilana let me in just as Dad was coming out of the guest bedroom. Ilana and I moved away from Mom and Dad’s house a little while ago. I didn’t understand why Ilana wanted to split up our pack, but I went with her anyway.

I wasn’t sure why Dad had slept over in the guest room, but I wasn’t complaining. Dad adores me and lets me kiss him as much as I want!

“Did you take your pills?” Dad asked Ilana. To me he said, “Good morning Sneeka Peeka Mika! Did you sleep well?” in the croon he only uses for me.

I wagged my tail and ran over to him.

Ilana rolled her eyes at us. “Yeah, Dad, I took them,” then she looked at her phone, “We have to go. I’m just going to feed Mika and then I’m ready.”

“Ok Princess,” Dad said, “I’m ready when you are.” I wasn’t sure if he was talking to me or Ilana.

Ilana sighed and walked to the kitchen. As hard as it was, I tore myself way from Dad and ran to the kitchen for breakfast. I dutifully sat and waited for Ilana to pour my food and tell me to “eat”. By the time I was done scarfing, Ilana was in her art studio. I knew she had a treat for me. I also knew she was going to put me in my crate and that she and Dad were going to leave. I didn’t want them to leave. I didn’t want her to leave. Nervousness and fear still poured off her body in waves. She needed me.

“Mika, come!” Ilana called.

I walked to the doorway and gave her my most pathetic look.

Ilana was not having it. She pointed to the crate, “Go on.”

I stood where I was.

Ilana put her hands on her hips. “Mika,” she said, “One…Two…”

I slunk into the crate. I’ve never found out what happens after Two, but I don’t want to.

She tossed my treat into the crate after me and closed the door. “Good girl Miki, we’ll be back soon.” She gave me a small smile but I could tell it was forced.

What was going on? I gave her a cry and pushed against the crate door.

Ilana walked out and closed the art studio door.

I howled until I was sure they’d left.

***

The car door opened and slammed shut. They were home! I stood up and began to bark. I was so glad Ilana was back. The key turned in the lock and the door opened. I could hear Dad moving around, putting bags down. “Roof, roof!” I called.

Dad ignored me. Through the door I heard him talking to Ilana. “Can you get in, up the step? Do you need help? Here…”

“I’m fine, just hold my crutches for a minute,” Ilana said.

I wondered what a crutch was.

I heard a lot of shuffling and felt Dad’s need to make sure Ilana was ok. I had the same need! There were no trace nerves off Ilana anymore though. Finally, the art studio door opened. Dad came in and let me out. He grabbed me by the collar before I had a chance to spring out of the room.

“Are you ready? Is it ok to let her go?” Dad called to Ilana.

“Yeah, it’s fine,” Ilana called back.

Dad released me and I bolted out of the room toward Ilana’s voice in the living room. I stopped. Ilana was standing by the front door with two metal sticks under her arms that reached all the way to the ground. And one of her legs was wrapped up in a hard, bandage like some dogs got at the vet’s office. The bandage went from her knee down like a big boot. She held that leg up above the ground. Something was not right.

“Hi Miki,” Ilana said. She smiled, “Be gentle.”

I crept closer to her and sniffed the metal sticks. Those must have been the crutches she had talked about. I decided I didn’t want to try to eat them. Then I sniffed her bandage. It smelled like the vet’s office. Underneath that smell, was something else. The human vet had done something to her ankle. I could smell the open skin and the healing already starting. I had a strong urge to rip open the boot bandage and lick Ilana’s sick ankle, but I resisted. I didn’t think that behavior would go over very well.

“See,” Ilana said to Dad, “she’s fine. She knows.”

Dad nodded and I could see he was relieved, “Looks like you’ve got a nurse maid.”

“Guess so,” Ilana said. She took her crutches and swung them forward a little, then leaned on them and hopped with her good leg. She repeated this all the way to her room. I followed very close to her. I wanted to be there in case I had to catch her. I didn’t trust the crutches.

Finally, we made it to the bed. She sat back and leaned the crutches against the frame. I jumped up next to her and tried to lick her.

She pushed me away, “Gross Mika! Quit it!” She scooted back and sat propped up by pillows. Dad helped her put pillows under her bandaged leg so it was elevated.

“Dad?” Ilana asked.

“Yes Princess?”

“Can you let Mika out and maybe get me something to eat please? Then I think I’ll take a nap.”

“Sure,” Dad said. “Come on Miki,” he told me and walked to the sliding doors.

It was hard to leave Ilana for even a second, but I did really have to “go potty” so I ran out and did my business. Then I was right back on the bed with her.

I settled down and watched her.

She patted my head, “You’re a good girl Miki.”

Thud, thud, thud went my tail against the covers. Ilana was my girl and I was going to take care of her.