The Incredible Inedible Egg

Most toys labeled "indestructible" die immediately on contact with Mika’s jaws, even if the mascot on the packaging is a pit bull type dog or a trainer who supposedly specialized in pit bulls gave me the suggestions. The only time a toy ever lasts more than a few minutes is when she can’t decide where to lay down and destroy it. She’ll walk around the house with the toy in her mouth lying down and getting up, whining because she can’t make up her mind.

Until the day my mom and I walked into a small pet shop…

“Can I help you?” the store clerk asked.

“Maybe,” I said. “I have a pit bull who’s a tough chewer. I’m looking for a toy she can’t easily destroy.”

He walked over to the toy section, “Well, we have the fire hose, the tire, the “Tuff” series, the—”

“Sorry to cut you off, but I’ve already tried all of those,” I told him. “Do you have anything else?”

He thought for a moment, “Well, we do have that giant egg in the window. It’s good for dogs because they can’t get a good hold on it to chew it up. Would you like to see it?”

I looked at my mom and she shrugged. “Why not?” I said to the clerk.

He walked to the window display, retrieved the egg, and brought it to me.

I examined it with my critical eye, looking for any weak spots in the craftsmanship. I couldn’t find any. Essentially it was a “dinosaur sized” egg shape, bright red and made of hard, solid plastic. I checked the price and wasn’t scared off.

“What do you think mom? Think this will take more than five minutes to destroy?”

“It’s worth a shot,” Mom said.

“Alright,” I said, turning to the clerk, “I’ll take it.”

When we got home I brought out the toy and put it on the floor in front of Mika. Immediately she pounced and tried to grab it with her mouth, but the egg slipped away. She tried again, lunging and attempting to use her paws to steady it. Again the egg eluded her. Mika was beginning to get frustrated and my mom and I were beginning to be amused.

Mika kept chasing the rolling, bouncing egg, trying to get a grasp of it, but it continued to prove stubborn. “Arf!Arf! Arriff!” high pitched barking exploded from my dog. The kind that only comes out when she’s exasperated.

Bang! Clang! Crash! The egg bumped into furniture.

Boom! Snap! Clash! Mika’s body hit every chair and table leg chasing the egg. She yelled at it, “Arf! Ariff! Riff!”

“You’d better stop her before she breaks my furniture,” Mom said, trying to keep a straight face.

“I guess,” I laughed. I caught Mika by the collar and picked up the egg in the other hand. She still wanted it when I let go of her collar so I had to take it and hide it. Clearly this toy was doing its job, but really, it needed more space than my parents’ cramped house.

***

When I moved into my own house with Mika, I found the egg again. My house had a large fenced in yard, so I tossed the egg outside one day. Off went Mika after it. She rolled it all over the yard barking in irritation. A few times she even popped it up along the fence but she never caught it. When she began to show exhaustion, I took the egg away since I knew she would never quit on her own.

“Good girl Miki,” I told her, patting her on the head and grinning.

We walked inside and she went straight to her water bowl. I heard sloppy lapping and knew drips of water would be all over my kitchen for me to step in with dry socks.

Finished quenching her thirst, Mika came into the dining room and collapsed on the cool wood. She opened her mouth and let her long pink tongue roll out and hit the floor. This toy had thus far lived up to its reputation as well as provided me with entertainment while wearing out my dog. Score one for the “tough toys”, finally!

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